WHY WE HAVE….

ENGAGEMENT RING The engagement ring is a promise for marriage. During the Roman era, the man had to “barter” for his future bride. The engagement ring was security for the “betrothed.” As time went on, men presented diamond rings to future brides because a ring containing a diamond was considered more valuable than a plain gold band—thus, it is a stronger promise and offers more security. Diamond engagement rings were given by medieval Italians, because of their belief that the diamond was created from the flames of love.

BRIDAL SHOWER This custom came about when a father disapproved of his daughter’s marriage and refused to provide a dowry to the couple. The shower became the alternative to the dowry. Supportive villagers would assemble and provide the bride a variety of household items for her new home. Bridal showers were also meant to strengthen the friendships between the bride and her friends, give her moral support, and help her prepare for her marriage. The idea to give gifts is fairly new, dating from the 1890’s. At one shower, the bride’s friend placed small gifts inside a Japanese parasol, and then opened it over the bride’s head so all of the presents would “shower” over her. When word of this hit the fashion pages, people were so charmed, they decided to do the same at their showers.

BRIDE AND GROOM NOT SEEING EACH OTHER During the time when marriages were arranged, the Bride and Groom did not see each other as a way of preventing either from running away.

BRIDAL GOWN (WHITE) There was a time when the bride would wear her favorite dress to the ceremony. In 1840, Queen Victoria wore an elegant all white gown to her wedding. She started a fashion trend which quickly caught on and continues to this very day. White was worn because people believed it represented affluence, virginity and purity.
THE BRIDAL VEIL  
The origin of the wedding veil is unclear but it is thought that it predates the wedding dress by centuries. One explanation is that it is a relic of the days when a groom would throw a blanket over the head of the woman of his choice when he captured her and carted her off. Another explanation is that during the times of arranged marriages, the bride’s face was covered until the groom was committed to her at the ceremony – so it would be too late for him to run off if he didn’t like the look of her! It is also thought that the veil was worn to protect the bride from evil spirits that would be floating around on her wedding day. Traditionally the bridal veil was a symbol for modesty, respect and virginity. The veil served as a reminder to all witnessing the ceremony that the physical relationship was entered into only after the vows were exchanged and the marriage became official with the seal of a kiss. The veil was removed after the vows were exchanged and the couple was pronounced “Man and Wife.”

BRIDAL FLOWERS The carrying of flowers by the bride has its roots in ancient times when it was believed that strong smelling herbs and spices would ward off and drive away evil spirits, bad luck and ill health. Garlic and chives were also popular for the same reason. During Roman times, this tradition was extended, with the bride and groom wearing floral garlands signifying new life and hope for fertility. The bouquet in particular symbolised a women in bloom. During Victorian times, flowers took on an additional significance as lovers would send messages to each other using different flowers, with each flower having its own meaning. It is also been told that many people couldn’t afford perfume, so flowers were a less expensive alternative.  These associations were soon adopted for the bride’s bouquet and are still used today by many brides. The most popular flowers with their traditional meanings are:
•    Apple Blossom – Better things to come
•    Camelia – Gratitude
•    Carnation – Fascination and love
•    Chrysanthemum (red) – I love you
•    Chrysanthemum (white) – Truth
•    Cyclamen – Modesty and shyness
•    Daffodil – Regard
•    Daisy – Innocence
•    Fern – Fascination and sincerity
•    Flowering Almond – Hope
•    Forget-me-not – True love and remembrance
•    Heliotrope – Devotion and faithfulness
•    Honeysuckle – Generosity
•    Hyacinth – Loveliness
•    Hydrangea – Boastfulness
•    Iris – Warmth of affection
•    Ivy – Eternal fidelity
•    Japonica – Loveliness
•    Jasmine – Amiability
•    Lemon Blossom – Fidelity in love
•    Lilac (white) – Youthful innocence
•    Lily – Majesty
•    Lily-of-the-valley – Return of happiness
•    Magnolia – Perseverance
•    Maidenhair – Discretion
•    Mimosa – Sensitivity
•    Orange Blossom – Purity and virginity
•    Peach Blossom – Captive
•    Rose (red) – Love
•    Rose (white) – Worthiness
•    Rose (other colors) – Love and beauty
•    Rosemary – Remembrance
•    Snowdrop – Hope
•    Sweet Pea – Delicate pleasures
•    Tulip – Love
•    Veronica – Fidelity
•    Violet – Faithfulness
SIXPENCE In England placing a silver sixpence in the bride’s shoe is a symbol of wealth. This is not just to bring the bride financial wealth but also a wealth of happiness and joy throughout her married life.

BRIDESMAIDS AND GROOMSMEN The bridal party has many origins, one of which comes from the Anglo Saxon days. When the groom was about to capture his bride, he needed the help of his friends, the “bridesmen” or “brideknights”. They would make sure the bride got to the church and to the groom’s house afterwards. The bride also had women to help her, the “bridesmaids” or “brideswomen”.

WHITE AISLE RUNNER The white aisle runner symbolised God’s holiness and walking on holy ground. It is believed that marriage is not just between two individuals but includes the presence of God who is actively involved in the marriage ceremony.

WEDDING CAKES A wedding just wouldn’t be complete without fertility symbols, like the wedding cake. Ancient Romans would bake a cake made of wheat or barley and break it over the bride’s head as a symbol of her fertility. It became tradition to pile up several small cakes, one on top of the other, as high as they could, and the bride and groom would kiss over the tower and try not to knock it down. If they were successful, it meant a lifetime of prosperity. During the reign of King Charles II of England, it became customary to turn this cake into an enjoyable edible palace, iced with white sugar.

THROWING OF THE GARTER BELT This ritual dates back to a time when woman wore hose with a garter belt. It was a chance for the single men to share in the good fortune of the groom. Today, it is believed that the man who catches the garter when it is thrown will be the next to marry. In the 14th century, is was customary for the bride to toss her garter to the men, but sometimes the men got too drunk, and would become impatient and try to take the garter off her ahead of time. It got to be less trouble for her just to toss the bridal bouquet.

FLOWERS AND THE TOSSING OF THE BOUQUET Flowers were incorporated into the ceremony because they represent fertility, purity, new life and never ending love. Traditionally, bouquets were a mixture of flowers and herbs. Dill was a very popular choice as an herb because it was believed to promote lust. Following the ceremony, the dill was eaten for that purpose.
Tossing of the bridal bouquet is a custom which has it’s roots in England. It was believed that the bride could pass along good fortune to others. In order to obtain this fortune, spectators would try to tear away pieces of the bride’s clothing and flowers. In an attempt to get away, the bride would toss her bouquet into the crowd. Tradition says that the single women who catches the bouquet is the one who receives the bride’s fortune and will marry next.

THE GRAND EXIT AFTER THE RECEPTION Traditionally, old shoes were tied to the back of the car to represent the transfer of property from the father of the bride to the groom. Horn honking, the shooting off of firecrackers and ringing of bells were a means to protect the bride by warding off evil spirits.

THROWING OF RICE, FLOWERS When thrown as the couple exited the church, throwing of rice and flowers represented the wish for the couple to have a fruitful and plentiful life together. Originally rice and wheat were thrown over the married couple to represent the hope for fertility.
When rose pedals are thrown before the bride as she walks down the aisle, it is to ward-off evil spirits below the ground and grant fertility.

CARRYING THE BRIDE OVER THE THRESHOLD There seems to be two explanations for this tradition where the groom carries his bride over the threshold when entering their home as a married couple for the first time. The first is to protect the bride from evil spirits that were thought to be lying in wait under the threshold. The second explanation relates to Roman times when it was believed that if the bride stumbled when entering the newlywed’s home for the first time, it would bring bad luck and harm to their marriage. So carrying the bride across the threshold would prevent this from happening (although we haven’t established the likely outcome to the marriage if the groom stumbled while carrying the bride!